There’s only two people in your life you should lie to… the police and your girlfriend. – Jack Nicholson I’ve never told a lie. Now, that right there is a lie. But if you have, you know the sinking feeling of being caught like a deer in the headlights. The blood rushes from your head to your feet, you begin…
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Interview with a Felon It's not easy breaking the corporate barrier when you've done time
Hi. I’m here for the job. I’m sorry I’m late, but I missed the last bus from the halfway house because some of the other inmates started throwing food around at breakfast. By the time the guards released us from lockdown and found all the hidden knives, I had to steal a car to get here on time. I read…
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New Frontiers in Homeschooling Going to school can be tough... even if you never leave home
Like most other parents, my mom and dad agonized over my schooling options during the recent pandemic. After all, their choices were so limited. Short of sending me to the job site with my dad, they were reduced to two choices: break down and buy me a laptop or home school me. They chose the latter. “We were concerned,” said…
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Those Good Old Time Diseases Why nobody gets Dry Bellyache or Bucket Fever these days
I was a first-grader at Van Nuys Elementary School the first time I came into contact with the medical system and its old time diseases. As a healthy child, the only thing that slowed me down was the occasional off-color weenie on “Hot Dog Friday.” None of the hair-netted ladies behind the steam table thought for a minute that I…
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The Worst Thing About the Pandemic And why it's so hard to do your laundry
I know, I know. In the midst of a lethal pandemic where scores of Covid-19 patients are struggling for their lives, it seems pathetically small of me to focus on something like how I can’t wash my clothes using my apartment building’s coin-operated machines. But it isn’t just about staying springtime fresh. In the immortal words of Wash Hogwallop, finding…
