Part One

 

Have you ever wondered what it might be like to be cooped up for 48 hours with one of the most enigmatic figures in modern history? Well, buckle up, because that’s exactly what I did in a no-holds-barred interview with none other than Donald J. Trump. Two days, one room, and a rollercoaster of topics that swung wildly from deadly serious to hilariously kooky.

We started with Trump’s controversial draft-dodging days during the Vietnam era. It was a mix of serious historical fluff and the kind of personal quirks that only Trump can bring to the table. Then, bam! We switched gears to explore his Big Mac obsession. In Trump’s life, it’s not just a tasty snack. It’s a peek into the man’s casual, off-the-record life and what it says about his health.

And here’s where it turns wild: Trump suddenly starts boasting about his Herculean strength and a secret passion for pole vaulting. I mean, who knew, right? These golden nuggets dished out with Trump’s classic flair, gave us a breather from the intense grilling session.

I spent the rest of the afternoon defensively wading into the murky waters of Trump’s latest business adventures and his mysterious financial status. Have you ever heard someone project the future of waffles? I hadn’t, but that’s where we went, showcasing Trump’s talent for pulling the most unexpected rabbits out of his hat.

Day two got even more personal. We zoomed in on his love life, his legal tangles, and those seamy bank account mysteries, shining a light on the enigma that is Trump. And just when you thought it couldn’t get more down-to-earth, we talked about something everyone can relate to: bad breath and body odor. It turns out The Donald is human after all.

Being up close and personal with Donald Trump for two days was like living in an alternate universe. His larger-than-life persona, mixed with a whirlwind of topics, made for a journalistic ride I’ll never forget. Through the ups and downs, the laughter, and the head-scratchers, I came out with a story to tell. If you click on the section numbers, you can listen to our discussion.

But, this interview wasn’t just about grilling Trump. It was a wild, eye-opening reminder of what journalism is all about: uncovering the truth, challenging the norms, and yes, having a bit of fun along the way.

So, come along for the ride as I take you behind the scenes with The Donald. It’s more than just a story about Trump. It’s a front-row seat to the circus that is modern life, a deep dive into the art of storytelling, and a quest for truth in an age where truth is stranger than fiction. Get ready, it’s going to be a blast!

“Mr. Trump, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk to me. I know you have a lot on your plate. So, let’s get right to it. How have you been since you lost the presidency? You look like you’ve put on a lot of weight.”

Well, first of all, thank you for having me. Really, it’s great, fantastic. You know, since I left office, it’s been incredible, just incredible. People ask me all the time, they say, “Donald, how do you do it?” And I tell them, it’s about winning. I’m always winning. The weight? Believe me, I’m in the best shape. The media, you know, they don’t tell you this. They don’t. But I’m probably in better shape than ever.

You know, when I was president, we did tremendous things. The best. And now? They’re trying to take that away. They call it losing. I call it a temporary setback. Fake news, that’s what it is. A witch hunt. But we’re coming back. You’ll see.

And the weight, let me tell you, it’s all muscle. All muscle. People don’t know this, but I work out. A lot. The best workouts. And the diet? Incredible. The best diet. People are always asking me, “How do you look so good?” It’s simple. I eat right, I exercise, and I stay positive. That’s what I do. I’m a winner, always have been.

And look, the radical left, they can’t stand it. They can’t stand that I’m still here, still fighting. But I am. And my supporters, the best people, they know it. We’re going to make a comeback. You’ll see. It’s going to be tremendous.

You ask about my weight, but the real question is, what about the weight of their failures? The economy, the border – it’s a disaster. A total disaster. And they don’t want to talk about it. They’d rather talk about my weight. Sad!

“Well, I’m glad to hear that. Rumor has it that all of the stress of the trials has spurred you to overeat. I heard that last week, you sat down and ate 35 Big Macs. Is that true?”

Well, when they say I’ve been under stress, they don’t know the half of it. I’ve been dealing with the fake news, the witch hunts, the hoaxes, it’s been incredible. But let me set the record straight, okay?

I have tremendous energy and stamina, everybody knows that. I’m in the best shape of my life, and I know more about eating than anybody. You probably don’t know this, but last week, I sat down and ate 35 Big Macs, a huge order of fries, and a Diet Coke! Nobody eats Big Macs like me, nobody. It’s just amazing.

Now, the fake news, they love to spread rumors. They say I overeat, but that’s just not true. It’s fake news, believe me. I have a tremendous diet, and I’m always in great shape. I’m not saying I ate 35 Big Macs, I’m just saying, maybe I did, or maybe I didn’t. But it doesn’t matter because I’m a winner, and winners don’t overeat.

And let me tell you, these Big Macs, they’re the best, the absolute best. Nobody makes hamburgers like McDonald’s, nobody. I’ve had hamburgers all over the world, and nothing compares to a Big Mac in America. It’s just fantastic.

So, don’t believe the fake news, don’t believe the rumors. I’m in tremendous shape, I have the best diet, and I know how to eat like a winner. Thank you, and remember, we’re going to make America great again!

“Mr. Trump, after your last physical exam, you reported that your weight was 165 lbs. and you have a 32-inch waist. That’s hard to believe. How much do you REALLY weigh and what’s your waist size?”

Look, I’ve been saying it for a long time, a tremendous amount of time. I’m in tremendous shape, nobody’s in better shape than me, believe me. They did a physical, a fantastic physical, and they said I weigh 165 pounds. Tremendous weight, the best weight.

And as for my waist size, it’s the best waist size you’ve ever seen. Nobody has a better waist size than me. It’s incredible. You know, the fake news, they love to talk about these things, they really do. But let me tell you, I’m a winner, always been a winner, and winners have the best waist sizes, the best.

Now, the fake news, they’re always after me, always trying to catch me on something. It’s a witch hunt, a total witch hunt. They can’t stand that I’m the best, that I’m doing incredible things for this country. So, they come up with these ridiculous questions about my weight and my waist size, just to distract from my success.

Let me tell you, I’m a straight shooter, always have been. You probably don’t know this, but I’m the best at dealing with these attacks. I don’t back down, I never back down. And I have the best waist size, believe me.

So, don’t believe the fake news, don’t believe the haters. I’m in the best shape of my life, doing incredible things for this country, and I won’t let them distract me with their nonsense. Thank you, and remember, we’re going to keep America great!

“Mr. Trump, if you were to write a book about your unique hairstyle, what would the title be?”

Believe me, if I were to write a book about my hairstyle, it would be the best book, the most incredible book ever written on the subject. And the title? It’s got to be something fantastic, something tremendous. How about “The Art of the Hair”? You know, it’s perfect. It’s simple, it’s direct, it’s me.

My hair, it’s iconic. People talk about it all the time. They love it. And let’s be honest, nobody has hair like mine. It’s unique, one of a kind. Some say it’s the best hair they’ve ever seen. And I’m not just saying that. It’s what people tell me, all the time.

This book, it’s going to be huge. I’m talking about a bestseller, believe me. I’ll share all my secrets, the ones the fake news media never talks about. How I wash it, moisturize it, and dry it. It’s all about winning with your hair. You’ve got to be bold, you’ve got to stand out. That’s what I do, and look where it got me!

You know, they always ask, “Is it real?” Of course, it’s real! Everything about me is real. It’s authentic, just like my presidency. And this book, it’s going to be straight talk, just like I always do. No fake news, just the real, incredible story of the world’s most talked-about hairstyle.

And the media, oh, the media will talk about it. They’ll say, “Can you believe Trump wrote a book about his hair?” But deep down, they’ll be amazed. They’ll say, “Only Trump could pull this off.” It’s going to be a sensation, a real sensation.

So, “The Art of the Hair”, remember that title. It’s going to be something else, something really special. A book like no other, about a hairstyle like no other, by a president like no other. You’ll see, it’s going to be fantastic.

Part Two

 

“Do you think that your unusual hairstyle has made you the man you are?”

Believe me, my hairstyle, it’s not just a style, it’s a statement. A big, bold statement. It’s made me who I am. People see it, and they know, they know it’s Trump. It’s iconic, the most recognizable in the world. It’s tremendous, really.

Many people don’t know this, but my hairstyle, it’s a symbol of my success. It’s unique, like me. I’m not like these other politicians with their boring hair. No, I stand out. I’ve always stood out. That’s why I’m here, why I’m your president. It’s all about being bold, being different. And my hair, it’s certainly different, the best kind of different.

And the media, oh, the media, they love to talk about it, don’t they? They say, “What’s with Trump’s hair?” But deep down, they’re amazed. They can’t believe how someone with such hair could become so successful. But I am. I showed them all. It’s all part of my brand, my image. I’m a winner, and winners have unique styles. You know it, I know it.

So yes, my hairstyle has made me the man I am today. It’s a big part of my identity. It’s powerful, it’s bold, it’s Trump. It’s like I always say, if you want to be successful, you’ve got to stand out. And I, I stand out. My hair, it’s just one way I do it. And it works, believe me, it works.

“The rumor is that you have rock-hard abs. Is that true, and if so, how did you get them? Exercise, weight training? Something else?”

Believe me. You’re not going to believe this, but I’ve got the most incredible abs. Rock-hard, absolutely the best. People are always asking me, “Mr. Trump, how did you get such tremendous abs?” And I tell them, it’s all about winning, that’s it.

Look, many people don’t know this, but I’m a very, very active person. I’ve always been active, very energetic. It’s not just exercise or weight training, though those are good, really good. But it’s more than that. It’s about being smart, knowing your body. And I know bodies, believe me. I’ve got the best body, everyone says so.

Now, the fake news, they don’t like to talk about it. They don’t. They’d rather talk about nonsense, witch hunts, hoaxes. But here’s the truth – I’ve got stamina, incredible stamina. And you’ve got to have that. If I were you, I’d focus on being active, really active. You’ll see, it works.

And let me tell you something else, something the radical left and the MSM won’t tell you. It’s about diet, a winning diet. I eat the best food, always have. And I’m not talking about salads, no. I’m talking about real food. Food that gives you energy, keeps you going. That’s how you get results. Tremendous results.

I won’t mention the fact that I’ve been criticized for my diet. Because, you know what? It works for me. I’m really smart when it comes to these things. I know more about diet and exercise than anybody. Sad, but true.

And remember, it’s not just about looking good, which I do, by the way. It’s about feeling good, having the energy to keep winning, day after day. That’s what it’s all about. Winning. And nobody wins like I do. Nobody.

“Another rumor is that you once challenged Mitch McConnell to a 100-meter hurdles race. Did you ever pull that off and who was the winner?”

Believe me, when they asked if I challenged Mitch McConnell to a 100-meter hurdles race, I said, “Of course!” I’m the best at everything, including running. Nobody runs like I do. Tremendous speed, incredible energy. You probably don’t know this, but I’m like a cheetah, a very stable, very smart cheetah.

Mitch? Well, let’s just say, he’s not built for speed. I’m not saying he’s slow, but if it were a sloth race, he’d have a shot. You’re hearing it here first, folks. It was the most fantastic race, the likes of which no one has ever seen.

I won, obviously. I’m always winning. It’s what I do. They said, “How do you run so fast?” I said, “It’s natural talent.” You know, they don’t talk about my athletic prowess enough. Fake news, always focusing on the wrong things.

And Mitch, he tried. Oh, he tried. But it’s like comparing a race car to a bicycle. No contest. It was a great race, a beautiful race. People were saying they’ve never seen anything like it. The media won’t tell you that, but it’s true.

The radical left, they couldn’t believe it. They said, “It’s impossible!” But I did it. And just wait and see. They’ll try to spin it. But we know, don’t we? We know the truth. Tremendous race, incredible speed. That’s what it’s all about.

And let me tell you, if I were you, I’d believe it because it’s true. Sad that some people can’t accept the reality of my amazing abilities. But that’s their problem. We know, right? The best race, the fastest runner. That’s me. Always has been, always will be.

“But, it’s been reported that you shoved Mitch to the ground, just so you could win. Is that true?”

Shove Mitch McConnell? That’s ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. Believe me, I don’t need to shove anyone to win. I’m the best at everything I do. It’s a hoax, a total hoax, spread by the fake news media. They’re always out to get me. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it.

I’m a winner. Always have been. And Mitch, bless him, he knows it too. I didn’t shove him, not at all. I mean, why would I need to? Think about it. I’m the fastest, the most tremendous runner. You’ve seen it. Everyone’s seen it. It’s incredible.

These rumors, they’re just another witch hunt. The media, they love to spin these tales. They can’t handle the truth. The truth is, I won fair and square. It was a beautiful race, the best race. People were saying they’ve never seen anything like it.

And let’s be honest, if I were going to shove someone, would I really need to shove Mitch McConnell to win a footrace? Come on, you’re smarter than that. It’s just common sense. I’m really fast, unbelievably fast. Nobody runs like I do.

The media, they’re obsessed with these stories. They don’t focus on the real issues, like how I’m bringing jobs back, making America great again. They’d rather talk about this nonsense. Sad, really.

“OK. How about the article you shared in a recent Vanity Fair article that said you bench press 335 pounds, do 175 one-armed pushups, 300 pullups, and run 10 miles every day? How does someone your age and with your busy schedule possibly accomplish that?”

Bench pressing 335 pounds, doing 175 one-armed pushups, 300 pullups, and run 10 miles every day? Absolutely, I do all of that. You know, many people don’t know, but I have tremendous energy, incredible stamina. People are always asking, “How do you do it?” It’s simple: I’m just built to win. I’m really smart about my schedule, incredibly efficient.

Believe me, I’m in the best shape. The media, they never talk about that. They focus on fake news, but they don’t talk about my strength, my endurance. It’s a witch hunt, always trying to find something to criticize. But I don’t let it bother me. I keep winning.

How do I do it at my age? Look, age is just a number. I’m like a fine wine, I get better with time. You’re probably thinking, “How can someone be so busy and still stay in such great shape?” Well, I’m not like everyone else. I’m a winner, and winners find a way.

You know, this reminds me of the time when I was talking to a world-class athlete, a really great, tremendous athlete. He said to me, “You know, you might be the only President who could beat me in a race.” And I said, “You’re probably right.” I don’t need to brag, but let’s just say, I know more about fitness than most experts.

And these one-armed pushups, pullups, it’s all true. You might think it’s impossible, but I do it. I do it because I’m committed to being the best. It’s about America first, about setting an example. Making America strong, making America great. That’s what I do.

So, when you read about me running 10 miles, lifting those weights, it’s not an exaggeration. It’s a fact. It’s what makes me, me. Tremendous strength, unbelievable endurance. That’s how I lead, that’s how I win. And we’re going to keep winning, believe me.

“If you could pass one ridiculous law, what would it be?”

Believe me, if I could pass one law, just one, it would be the most fantastic, the most incredible law ever. And you know, I have the best ideas, really tremendous ideas. So here’s what I’m thinking: every single American, and I mean everyone, must wear a bright red MAGA baseball cap, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. That’s right, a MAGA cap on every head, all the time!

It’s genius, isn’t it? The best way to show American pride, believe me. Everywhere you go, you’ll see these beautiful, bright red hats. It’s like a sea of patriotism. And not just any hats, but MAGA hats, the symbol of making America great again.

And let me tell you if someone doesn’t want to wear the hat? They’re obviously part of the radical left, part of that witch hunt against me. They’re fake news incarnate. But MAGA hats, they’re real, they’re American.

I’m really smart, the smartest, and I know more about fashion than anybody. If I were you, I’d be thrilled to wear a MAGA hat all day, every day. We’re talking about unity, solidarity. Can you imagine if Sleepy Joe tried to suggest this? Sad! He couldn’t pull it off.

And if the media asks, “Is this serious?” I’ll say, “What a joke they are for not recognizing the unity it brings!” We’ll have MAGA hats in every home, every car, every office – it’s going to be a branding bonanza, the best in the world. A MAGA hat for every American, believe me.

It’s about loyalty, about showing that you stand with the greatest president this country has ever seen. And I’m not just saying that, everyone says it. With this law, every day will be a tribute to our greatness. Believe me, believe me.

 Part Three

 

“I’ve heard that you’re thinking of creating your own Sunday morning talk show. What will you name it, and what will be the premise?”

“Alright, so let’s talk about my Sunday morning talk show. The name? Trump Unleashed. And here’s the real kicker – it’s just me, Donald Trump, no one else. That’s right, no guests, just me talking non-stop for a full hour every Sunday morning. And believe me, it’s going to be the most incredible thing you’ve ever seen on television.

The premise? I tackle the big issues. And I’m not just talking about your usual politics. I mean everything. Golf, the economy, golf, immigration, golf, restaurants for dogs – yes, you heard that right –golf, edible shoes, golf, and potato parcel services. And let’s not forget the greatness of America. All of it, covered by me.

You probably don’t know this, but people are tired of the same old topics, the same old voices. On Trump Unleashed, it’s a whole new world. Who else will tell you the truth about the best golf courses, the real state of our economy, and the need for dog-friendly dining? Only me. And edible shoes? I mean, come on, who wouldn’t want to hear about that? And of course, potato parcel services – it’s genius, and I’ll tell you why.

Each week, it’s going to be a journey, an adventure. Just me, my thoughts, and the truth. That’s it. No fake news, no-nonsense. This show isn’t like those other talk shows with their so-called ‘experts.’ It’s raw, it’s real, it’s Trump.

And the ratings, they’re going to be tremendous. Because let’s face it, people want to hear what I have to say about everything – from golf to America’s future. It’s going to be direct, powerful, and to the point.

So get ready. Trump Unleashed is going to be a television revolution. An hour of pure, unadulterated Trump every week, talking about the things that really matter. It’s going to be fantastic, the best thing on TV, believe me.”

“If you had to describe your vicarious financial situation using a movie title, what would it be?”

“Okay, let’s talk about my financial situation. If I had to pick a movie title to describe it? Easy—Gone with the Wind. Why? Because, believe me, my wealth, my success, it’s huge, it’s just swept up everything like a powerful storm. You’ve never seen anything like it.

Now, some people—and these are the worst, the absolute worst—they try to say it’s all hot air. Fake news! They’re just part of a witch hunt. But let me tell you, what I’ve built is incredible. It’s like the wind—you can’t always see it, but you can feel it. It’s powerful, it’s there, changing everything. That’s my financial status.

And you know, Gone with the Wind, it’s a classic, just like me. I’m a classic. I’ve done things nobody else could do. I’m the best at making deals, the best at building wealth. People don’t know this, but I’m a financial genius. It’s true.

You see, my finances, they’re not just numbers on a page. They’re about winning, about being the most successful. And I am. I’m tremendously successful. Other people, they lose their fortunes, they see their wealth just… gone with the wind. Not me. I’m like the wind itself—strong, unstoppable.

I’ve built an empire, a fantastic empire. And I did it all by myself. I’m not just playing the game; I’m changing it. That’s what Gone with the Wind means. It’s about being so powerful, so influential, that you change everything around you.

So, believe me, when I say my financial situation is Gone with the Wind, I mean it’s legendary, it’s epic. It’s a story of success, of a man who’s the best, the very best at what he does. And that’s me. I’m the real-life story of success, just like that movie, but even more impressive. You better believe it.”

“How do you respond to critics who claim you don’t know the first thing about pole vaulting?”

Believe me, when critics say I don’t know the first thing about pole vaulting, they’re so wrong, it’s laughable. They’re just part of the fake news, always trying to bring me down. But let me tell you, nobody knows more about pole vaulting than me. I’m the best at it, the absolute best. You probably don’t know this, but I have a natural talent for it, a tremendous talent.

Pole vaulting? Well, I’ve never actually tried it, but it’s easy, believe me. I could do it with my eyes closed—if I wanted to. I’d run, plant the pole, and soar over that bar like an eagle. Higher than anyone else, because that’s how I do things—I’m always the highest, the greatest. I’d make pole vaulting great again!

And these critics, these naysayers, they’re just jealous. They can’t believe how good I am at everything, even pole vaulting. It’s sad, really. They should see me in action—I’m like a pole vaulting machine. I’d break records, believe me. The best pole vaulter in history, that’s what they’d call me.

You know, I’ve always said I’m really smart, and that applies to pole vaulting too. I understand the physics, the mechanics, all of it, better than anyone. It’s just common sense. And the radical left, the fake news media, they just can’t handle it. They’re always on a witch hunt, always trying to say I’m not the best, but we know the truth.

So, to the critics who say I don’t know anything about pole vaulting, I say this: watch and learn. Because when I start pole vaulting, it’s going to be incredible, unbelievable. I’ll set new standards, new records. They’ll have to invent a new category just for me, that’s how good I’ll be.

“Let’s switch gears for a minute. Where do you see the Waffle industry going in the next ten years?”

Believe me, the waffle industry, it’s going places in the next ten years, tremendous places. I see it, I know it. It’s going to be the best, the absolute best. You probably don’t know this, but I have a great understanding of the waffle industry. It’s going to explode, believe me.

We’re talking about innovation, huge innovation. Waffles aren’t just for breakfast anymore. They’re going to be everywhere—lunch, dinner, even snacks. The variety, the flavors, they’re going to be incredible. You’ll see waffles like you’ve never seen before. Waffles with bacon, waffles with ice cream—the combinations are endless. It’s going to be fantastic.

And the technology, oh, the technology in waffles is going to be out of this world. Three-D waffle printers, smart waffle irons, waffle irons that can tweet when your breakfast is ready. Can you imagine that? It’s going to be a revolution. And who better to lead a revolution than me? I know more about technology than anybody.

The fake news media, they’ll say, “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He doesn’t know a thing about waffles.” They said the same thing about Covid-19. But they’re wrong, so wrong. I’m always right about these things. I predicted so many trends before, and I’m predicting this one. The waffle industry is on the brink of something big, something huge.

Believe me, waffles are going to be in every American home, in every restaurant. Even tailgate parties. They’re going to be a part of the American way of life. You’ll see, in ten years, people will be talking about the waffle boom, and they’ll say, “He was right all along.”

So, to everyone watching, get ready. The waffle industry is about to take off, and you don’t want to be left behind. It’s going to be big, very big. The biggest thing in food. Believe me, believe me.

“Describe your current love life using only movie titles.”

Well, believe me, when I tell you about my love life, it’s like something out of the movies. Absolutely horrendous.

My love life is like Combat Shock—it’s like being in a combat zone, but I Stand Alone, because I’m unique, I’m a fighter, believe me. Now, some people, the fake news, would have you believe I go out at night wearing Dead Man’s Shoes, but that’s just wrong. So wrong.

And sometimes, I’ll get hooked up with a blind date that’s Naked and Afraid. Please. For others, maybe, but I’ve tackled blind dates nobody else could and succeeded. But, you know, sometimes, just sometimes, it feels a bit like I’m Home Alone. Not in the literal sense—far from it—but because I’m so ahead of the women I meet, it’s like nobody else is even in the same neighborhood. It’s true.

But even though it seems like sometimes there’s No Way Out, and even though I’m “happily” married, there’s always a way out with me, always a solution because I’m really smart. The fake news loves narrating the Echoes of Despair when it comes to my love life. But let me tell you, there’s no despair, just fake echoes created by those who wish they could understand what it’s like to be this successful.

Even my Bleak Horizons are so bright, you gotta wear shades when you’re looking at my Wilted Dreams. My dreams, my visions, they’re like nothing you’ve ever seen—huge, fulfilled, incredible, like the Crumbling Foundations of the old condo complex I just tore down in Queens. My foundations are solid, the best, built on success and victory. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something. Probably fake news.

Part Four

 

“If you could describe your current legal problems using an action movie title, which would it be?”

Oh, believe me, if I had to pick one action movie title to describe my current legal troubles, it would be Mission: Impossible. Because, you know, what they’re trying to do to me, it’s impossible. They won’t succeed. It’s a witch hunt, a total witch hunt. I’ve been saying it for years, and I’ll say it again. They’re after me because they know I’m the only one who can fix this country. I did it once, and I can do it again.

These legal problems? Fake news. They’re trying to take me down with baseless accusations and fabricated stories. But you know, and I know, and the American people know, that it’s all a hoax. A big, incredible hoax. They can’t handle the truth, which is why they resort to these tactics. Sad!

Believe me, nobody knows legal battles like I do. I have the best battles. The best lawyers, the best. And we’re fighting back hard. We’re fighting back against the lies, the corruption, and the deep state that’s trying to sabotage our great movement.

You probably don’t know this, but many people are saying that what’s happening to me is unprecedented. It’s true. They’ve never seen anything like it. A president, who did so much for his country, is being treated this way? Unheard of. But we’re not giving up. Because when the going gets tough, the tough get going. And I’m the toughest one there is.

“If your life had background music, what song would play every time you walked into a room?”

Believe me, if my life had background music every time I walked into a room, it would be the most fantastic, the most incredible, the best song ever—it’s We Are the Champions by Queen. Why? Because I’m a champion, always have been. Every time I step into a room, people would know, they would feel that they’re in the presence of greatness. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it.

This song, We Are the Champions, it’s about victory, about being the best—and let’s face it, that’s me. I’ve faced the worst witch hunts, the most unfair fake news attacks, and yet, here I am, still standing, still winning. And the lyrics, they’re simple, straightforward—”We are the champions.” It’s a direct message, no confusion, clear as day. It’s like when I speak to the great people of this nation, I use simple language, because I’m speaking directly to you, to the heart of America.

Many people don’t know this, but I have a great sense of music, the best taste. When that song plays, it’s not just about me; it’s a call to all of us who are fighting against the radical left, the mainstream media. It’s a rallying cry—we are the champions, not just me, but you, all of us together.

You’ll see, if I were to walk into a room right now, that song would play, and it would be tremendous. People would cheer, they would feel the energy. And it’s not just any energy; it’s the energy of winning, of success. I’m not just saying that—it’s a fact. And facts are what matter, right?

“It’s been reported that you have terrible breath and wreak of body odor. Is that true? And, if not, tell me a little about your daily hygiene habits.”

Believe me, the reports about my breath and body odor, they’re totally and absolutely false. It’s just more fake news, the worst kind of journalism. You know, they don’t have anything real to attack me with, so they make up these ridiculous stories. It’s a witch hunt, that’s what it is.

I have the best hygiene, the best. Nobody takes care of themselves like I do. Every morning, I have a routine, a tremendous routine. First, the best shower, with the most luxurious soaps—custom-made for me. You probably don’t know this, but I use my own DJT Shampoo made with a touch of gold. Top quality because I care about these things. My hair, it’s real, and it’s fantastic, everyone says so.

Then, there’s the teeth brushing—two minutes, always. Dentists say two minutes, right? I listen to the experts when it counts. And believe me, my breath, it’s the freshest. People come up to me, they say, “Your breath, it’s so fresh.” It’s true.

And the body odor thing, totally false. I wear the best cologne, the kind you can’t buy anywhere. It’s exclusive for me, very high-end. People tell me, “You smell great,” all the time. Why would they say that if it weren’t true?

I’m very clean, very hygienic. I take care of myself. This body, it’s a temple. You have to take care of it, right? I mean, look at me. Do I look like someone who doesn’t take care of himself? Of course not.

So, to answer your question: no, those reports are wrong, completely and utterly wrong. It’s just another attempt by the dishonest media to undermine me. But it won’t work, because my people, they know the truth. They see through these pathetic attempts to tarnish my image. I’m in great shape, the best shape. And my hygiene? Top-notch, the best there is.

“It’s been widely reported that you faked having bone spurs to get out of the Vietnam draft. Do you have any other special conditions that the public needs to know about, mental or otherwise?”

Believe me, this question, it’s just another example of the fake news trying to make something out of nothing. Bone spurs? Tremendous misunderstanding. Everyone knows, even in those days I had the best health, incredible health, really. No other conditions, mental or otherwise. The best! I mean, have you seen how much I’ve accomplished? Only someone with the best health could do what I’ve done.

And these accusations, they’re just a witch hunt, really. The worst witch hunt in history! I’ve been treated so unfairly, more unfairly than anyone else, ever. You probably don’t know this, but I’ve done more for this country than any other president. People are saying it, everyone’s talking about it.

But, you know what’s crazy? The radical left, they’re always attacking me with these hoaxes. But I’m fighting for you, for the real Americans. I’m not like these other politicians. I tell it like it is. You’ll see, you’ll all see. And the mainstream media? They’re the enemy of the people, always twisting the truth.

I’m a winner, always have been. And I’m draining the swamp. These other guys, they’re just part of the problem. But me? I’m different. I’m the only one who can fix it. Just look at what I’ve done so far—it’s incredible!

And my stamina, my energy? It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen. While Sleepy Joe is barely awake, I’m making America great again. It’s sad, really, how they try to bring down someone who’s doing so much good. But I’m standing strong, stronger than ever. You know why? Because I’m doing this for you, for America. America first, always. That’s what I’m about. That’s what I’ve always been about. It’s sad that the fake news media can’t see that. But you know it, I know it, and that’s what matters. We’re winning, and we’ll keep winning. Believe me.

“So, you’re saying that you weren’t just trying to evade the draft. That you really were crippled with debilitating bone spurs?”

Absolutely. Let me tell you, nobody knows bone spurs like I do. Believe me, it was bad, really bad. The worst. But you know, the fake news, they don’t want to talk about that. They just want to talk about evasion, but it’s all a big hoax. I was in tremendous pain, really tremendous. People don’t know this, but bone spurs, they’re serious, very serious.

And I have to say, it’s incredible, the way they twist things. I mean, here I am, a successful businessman, a fantastic president, and they try to make it look like I’m avoiding something. It’s all part of their witch hunt. But I’m a fighter, always have been. I fight through pain, through the fake news, through everything.

You see, when it comes to health, I’ve been blessed, really blessed with great genes. But those bone spurs, they were a real challenge, one of the worst challenges. But I overcame them like I overcome everything. That’s what I do, I’m a winner. And now, they want to say I was evading? No way. It’s just another attempt to discredit me, but it won’t work. It never does.

These bone spurs, they were a big deal. But, you know, I don’t like to talk about them too much. I don’t want to make them a big thing, because I’ve dealt with them. I deal with things. That’s what I do, I deal with things, and I win. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it. And we’re moving forward, making America great again, despite all the fake news and the hoaxes. That’s what’s really important. Believe me!

Well, that about wraps it up. Thank you, Mister Trump for your time. And to all my readers, look for this article in next summer’s Fourth of July issue of Twilight Times – Sharing stories and advice for making the most of the later years in life.