So, let’s talk about how people feel about ChatGPT and similar AI models. It’s a mixed bag, really. On the one hand, a lot of people are amazed by the innovation and efficiency it brings. How it’s already changing the game in education, programming, content creation, customer service, and more. It’s like having a super-assistant who’s always ready to help you with learning and research. For writers, it can spark creative thinking in ways you’ve never imagined.

On the other hand, there’s a bit of anxiety around AI possibly replacing human jobs, especially in creative fields where AI is now able to write entertaining jokes, articles, and screenplays as well as create compelling art and music. But, let’s get real. While ChatGPT and similar AI models have already started to play larger roles in writing and publishing, they still need people to drive them and manage their direction.

To demonstrate how AI, and specifically ChatGPT, can make a difference in your writing, I created a little “exercise” just to see what it could do for my humor writing. Here’s what I did.

Most pieces you write using ChatGPT begin with a Large Language Model (LLM) script; a place where you tell it exactly what you want it to do and what your expectations are. Don’t worry. You don’t need to know anything about computer programming. You just “talk” to ChatGPT using common English.

In this particular case, I wrote three scripts:

• A script to process an old nursery rhyme into a hard-hitting news article.
• A script that randomly merges two nursery rhymes (“Little Miss Muffet” and “Itsy Bitsy Spider”) out of a collection of over one hundred.
• A script to convert virtually any text into “Valley Girl Dialect,” loaded with fast-paced run-on sentences, breathiness, uptalk, and filler words similar to “um” “like,” or “er.”

Here’s how they came out.

The Original “Little Miss Muffet” Nursery Rhyme

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a tuffet,

Eating her curds and whey;

Along came a spider,

Who sat down beside her

And frightened Miss Muffet away.

The Hard-Hitting News Article

November 23, 2023
The Daily Chronicle
By Alexei Rostov

Tragedy Strikes Nursery Rhyme World: The Disturbing Incident of Little Miss Muffet

In an unsettling turn of events that has rocked the foundation of nursery rhymes around the world, “Little Miss Muffet” became the center of a harrowing incident. Known for her innocent portrayal in a beloved children’s rhyme, Miss Muffet was found traumatized and disoriented last night, disrupting the age-old narrative and raising serious concerns about the safety and origins of these tales.

Upon arriving at the scene, I interviewed several key witnesses to piece together the horrific event, including Sarah Johnson, a close member of the Muffet family.

“Ms. Johnson, you mentioned that Little Miss Muffet has always been a symbol of innocence. Can you tell me more about how this incident has affected your perception of nursery rhymes?”

“Well, it’s just heartbreaking, you know? We’ve always thought of these nursery rhymes as safe, happy stories for children,” she said. “But this incident has shattered our perception of safety in nursery rhymes. It’s a harsh reminder that darkness can lurk in the most benign places.”

“I can only imagine how shocking this must be for you.”

Next, I interviewed Michael Anderson, a local baker. “You dated Miss Muffet for a while back in the 60s, right? Can you share your thoughts on what’s happened?”

“It’s just unbelievable. She was the light of my life. Always cheerful, reciting her lines with a smile while eating her curds and whey. To think that such a grim reality was hidden behind those rhymes is deeply troubling. I’m really going to miss her.”

And finally, we have Emily Parker, who lived across the street from Ms Muffet. “You mentioned that you never really cared for Little Miss Muffet’s popularity. Could you elaborate on that and how this incident has made you feel?”

“Well, I never did like the sugar-coated world Ms. Muffet portrayed in these nursery rhymes. But I never imagined something this sinister could happen. It makes you question the stories we tell our children, doesn’t it?”

Investigation into the Perpetrators

The police have identified several persons of interest, and exploring the possibility of an inside job. The suspects, ranging from fellow nursery rhyme characters Simple Simon, Little Jack Horner, and Old King Cole, to disgruntled former employees of the rhyme industry, are under close surveillance.

The lead investigator, Detective Sarah Jensen, said, “We’re taking this very seriously. In fact, our forensic team is analyzing every aspect of the scene, including DNA samples from Miss Muffet’s curds and whey. We’re leaving no stone unturned.”

Onlookers gathered around the scene, shocked at the unfolding drama.

“This is like something out of a movie,” one bystander remarked. “It’s unbelievable. Just unbelievable.”

Impact on Future Nursery Rhymes

This incident has prompted a reevaluation of the links between nursery rhymes’ explicit content and violence to their characters. Experts in child psychology and literature are calling for a thorough review of these tales, ensuring they are safe and appropriate for young audiences.

For more information, contact:

Alexei Rostov

Senior Crime Reporter

Email: Arostov@dailychronicale.com

The Muffet tip line: 555-0123.

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The Tragic Tale of Little Miss Muffet and the Itsy Bitsy Spider

November 20, 2023

 

By Zephyr Kostas

Crime Reporter

The Oracle Observer

In a shocking incident that struck the heart of our community last night, the once-beloved nursery rhymes, “Little Miss Muffet,” and “Itsy Bitsy Spider,” have collided into a harrowing tale of tragedy and loss.

The Oracle Observer’s award-winning writer, Zephyr Kostas, known for his in-depth reporting, rushed to the scene to uncover the details of this horrendous story. In this new, unnerving version of the classic rhyme, Little Miss Muffet, renowned for her serenity, was found in distress following an alarming encounter with an unusually large spider, shaking the foundations of this age-old nursery rhyme.

Eyewitnesses described a scene of chaos.

“It was unlike anything we’ve ever seen,” said Marjorie Green, the local librarian. “The spider, once a tiny, harmless creature in our stories, transformed into this…giant, terrorizing bug.”

John Peters, a close associate of Miss Muffet, expressed his disbelief. “She was always so calm and collected. To see her in such panic, it’s it’s… unsettling.”

Even those indifferent to Miss Muffet couldn’t hide their concern. “I never cared much for her or her curds and whey for that matter, but no one deserves something like this.”

After returning to the newsroom, Zephyr delved into the background of the ‘perpetrator,’ the one-time itsy bitsy spider. The entire town was talking about the rumors of itsy bitsy spider’s recent, alarming growth and behavior, sparking a wave of fear among the populace. Some even theorized the attack was due to the spider’s recent addiction to performance-enhancing drugs and his recent release from prison.

The police, led by Detective Sarah Thomson, are sparing no effort in investigating this bizarre event. “We’re looking into every angle, including all chemical and environmental factors that could have caused such a change in the spider,” she states. Forensic experts were on site, analyzing the scene for DNA, hair samples, and any other clues that might shed light on this mysterious event.

As always, the Oracle Observer remains committed to bringing their readers the latest developments. We stand with the victims and their families during these trying times.

For more information and updates, contact:

The Oracle Observer
Email: Zkostas@oracleobserver.com
Phone: 555-0102
Website: www.oracleobserver.com

Valley Girl Commentary: Like, a Totally Shocking News Article!

November 23, 2023

by Alexei Rostov

Crime Reporter
The Gossip Gazette

OMG, like, you won’t believe the news I just got my perfectly manicured nails on! It’s, like, a total tragedy, and I’m, like, totally shook. So, check it out. On November 20, 2023, this, like, super crazy thing happened, and I can’t even!

Okay, so there are these, like, famous nursery rhymes, you know, “Little Miss Muffet” and “Itsy Bitsy Spider,” right? They’re like, so classic and cute, but OMG, they’ve, like, totally collided into this, like, mega-drama. It’s cray-cray!

So, Zephyr Kostas, this super serious crime reporter from The Oracle Observer, he, like, zoomed to the scene to, like, figure out what the heck went down. And, let me tell you, it’s not your typical nursery rhyme anymore. Little Miss Muffet, who used to be all calm and, like, serene, was, like, in total distress because she had this, like, huge, ginormous spider encounter, and it was NOT fab at all. Her world was, like, totally rocked.

People who saw it happen were, like, freaking out big time! Marjorie Green, the local librarian, said it was, like, nothing she’d ever seen. That itsy bitsy spider, which used to be, you know, super tiny and harmless in the stories, somehow turned into this, like, massive, terrifying monster. Ew, right?

John Peters, who used to go out with Miss Muffet, couldn’t believe his eyes. He was all, “She was always so chill, and now she’s all freaked out! It’s, like, totally weird and unsettling.”

And, like, her gnarly next-door neighbor said, “I didn’t care much about Miss Muffet or her curds and whey (gross, by the way), but you gotta admit, no one deserves this kind of, like, drama in their life.”

So, Zephyr, being the reporter-guy he is, dug deep into the ‘perpetrator,’ which is, like, the once-itsy-bitsy spider. The whole town was gossiping about this spider’s, like, crazy growth and weird behavior. Some peeps even thought it was, like, into some performance-enhancing drugs. Like, seriously?

The police, led by Detective-lady, Sarah Thomson, are, like, totally on it, and they’re not leaving any stone unturned. They’re even checking if there were any, like, chemicals or stuff that made the spider go from itsy bitsy to monster-size. Forensic experts are, like, all over the place, looking for DNA and clues and stuff.

So, like, The Oracle Observer, like, totally released this statement, you know? They’re, like, super committed to making sure everyone stays in the loop about this crazy story. They’re, like, here to support the victims and their families during this, like, mega-stressful time, you know?

For more info, you can, like, hit up The Oracle Observer, email Zephyr at Zkostas@oracleobserver.com, or, like, call them at 555-0102. And, of course, check out their website at www.oracleobserver.com.

Like, OMG, this is, like, sooo not the nursery rhyme I remember!

In the world of humor writing, ChatGPT takes its place as a quirky and inventive research assistant. It’s like having a brainstorming buddy who’s always ready with a pun, a clever twist, or an unexpected punchline. For example, before I could convincingly write in “Valley Girl” dialect, I had to know what to suggest to Chat GPT. So, I asked it. Here’s what it wrote:

“Any materialistic upper-middle-class young woman, associated with unique vocal and California dialect features, from the Los Angeles commuter communities of the San Fernando Valley. The use of “like” is often ideologically linked to California and youth, which results in their also receiving the “superficial” cast. California speech is thought to be a product of the combination of Valley Girl and surfer dude speech. The sound of Valleyspeak has these main habits: nasal sound; fast-paced run-on sentences, breathiness, uptalk, or the sound of a question.”

And, even though I grew up as a Baby Boomer in the San Fernando Valley, I still wasn’t intimately familiar with its vocabulary. So, I just asked ChatGPT to provide me with some examples:

barf me out, gag me with a spoon, tubular, totally, rad/radical, gnarly, have a cow, grotesque, hoser, for sure/fer sher, awesome, bogus, grody, bag your face, take a chill pill, grodymax, fersure, oh my god, like, gag me with a spoon, fer sure, bitchin’, radical, tubular, no way, whatever, as if, chill out, dude, bummer, awesome, valley girl, valor, value added tax, value-free, value judgment, value-laden, valueless, valuer, valve, vamoose, vamp, vampire, dude, wicked, gnarly, tubular, awesome, rad, bogus, bummer, chill, groovy, far out, funky, hip, jive, mellow, righteous, solid, tight, vibe, zonked, bogue, far out, groovy, hella, jive, knock-off, phony, sourdough, stiff, wallpaper, funny paper, funny money, backs, fronts, hot dough, shuffle, queer, boodle, fly, amazing.

The whole process took fifteen minutes. Then, I put it all together, producing the unfortunate result you read above.

The other cool thing about ChatGPT prompts is you can ask them the same question an unlimited number of times. And each time it will produce another unique piece about the same subject, but with a slightly different slant.

The true essence of humor – its timing, cultural nuances, and emotional resonance – still relies heavily on the human touch. It still needs a human being to drive. At least, for now. In the meantime, ChatGPT can be an indispensable researcher laying down the groundwork for a memorable article with ideas and jokes. But it’s still the human writer who shapes these into something that resonates with readers, blending wit, context, and personal flair.

In humor writing, ChatGPT is less of a solo performer and more of a supportive sidekick, enhancing the creative process with its unique, AI-driven perspective, helping you become a better humor writer.