“Seniors and technology have one thing in common: they both became popular way before they were ready for mainstream.”
Let me tell you a tale. A tale of two worlds. One old and wise. The other, youthful and foolish. Now, you youngins might think you have it all figured out with your fancy gadgets and Bluetooth gizmos, but let me assure you, we adults have our reasons for being wary of this ever-changing flim-flam. This so-called new technological landscape. From the time you kids were in pre-school, you were always bothering us adults with “important” things like:
“I can’t believe you used the wrong meme in our family group chat!”
“You shared an embarrassing filtered selfie of me on TikTok!
“All my friends have robotic pets with voice recognition, and mine only responds to ‘sit’ and ‘stay.’”
“Nobody appreciates the intricacy of my Minecraft masterpieces.”
“All the cool kids have virtual fashion avatars. Meanwhile, I’m stuck with this stupid, T-shirt.”
You see, back in my day (and by “my day,” I mean when we etched messages onto stone tablets and used carrier pigeons to send them), we had to work for our luxuries. We didn’t have the convenience of “Google” or “Uber” to make our lives easier. We had to rely on our brains, our brawn, and our good old-fashioned work ethic. We didn’t need no stinking GPS, neither. Instead, we put our trust in crusty old paper maps we got from the Auto Club and the guiding light of the North Star.
Nowadays, you young whippersnappers are born with screens glued to your faces, and your noses pressed into social media. You’re so obsessed with the latest iPhone, you’re not even aware of the time when the rotary phone was king.
We adults appreciate the relics of the past, the charm of a vintage record player or the screeching sound of a dial-up modem connecting to America On Line.
You might think our reluctance to adapt to new technology is a sign of our stubbornness or lack of intelligence, but let me tell you something, young people. We have seen things you wouldn’t believe. We’ve lived through the great VHS vs. Betamax war of the ’80s and the Y2K scare that nearly brought the world to its knees. We’ve watched our once-beloved MySpace crumble into obscurity and our cherished CDs turned into drink coasters.
We’ve been burned before by the fickle march of progress and we aren’t gonna buckle under this one. That’s why when pinned down by Millennials, Generations X, or Z, we’re quick to complain:
“I’m not ready to rely on AI for everything. I still want to feel like I have some control over my sex life!”
“What if AI becomes smarter than us? I refuse to be outwitted by a bunch of algorithms!”
“I’m not a tech genius! What if I accidentally send my Match.com profile to everyone in the office?”
“I don’t need a robot to tell me what to do! I’m perfectly capable of making my own mistakes.”
“AI can’t understand sarcasm or humor. It’s going to take everything I say literally and make a mess of things!”
So, forgive us if we don’t jump on board with every new piece of technology that comes our way. We prefer to take a more cautious approach, to observe from a safe distance before deciding whether or not to embrace the latest and greatest. We’d rather not waste our hard-earned time and money on passing fads like Laser-Guided Toothbrushes or Self-Tying Shoelaces.
You youngsters may be quick to adopt the latest trends like Toontastic 3D and whatever new doohickey is making waves these days, but we’ve seen the rise and fall of countless tech giants, and we know better than to put all our eggs in one basket. We’ll stick with our trusty CompuServe accounts, where we can share our conspiracy theories in peace, thank you very much.
You may mock our struggles with touchscreen keyboards or our endless questions about “the cloud,” but let’s not forget who taught you how to ride your bike or play the accordion. We may not be experts in technology, but we’ve got wisdom. The kind of wisdom you can’t find in YouTube tutorials or Buzzfeed listicles.
So, go ahead, laugh at our vinyl record collections and our ineptness with navigating Snapchat. Embrace your shiny new Psychic Snack Dispensers and Bubble-Wrap Clothing. But remember this: one day, you too will be the older generation, baffled by the latest innovations and craving the simplicity of the good old days. And when that time comes, we’ll be here, watching from our rocking chairs, smiling knowingly as we sip our prune juice.
