New York, NY — Subway Sandwiches is excited to unveil its new line of foot-long sandwiches, featuring bold and flavorful combinations that are sure to satisfy even the most discerning palates. Among the creative minds behind this new menu is former Subway spokesperson and convicted criminal, Jared Fogel.
“We’re thrilled to have Jared working with us again,” said Subway CEO, John Chidsey. “He has a real talent for creating unique and exciting sandwiches that our customers love, and we know this new menu will be a huge hit.”
The new menu features ten tantalizing sandwich options, including:
The Jailbird Jamboree — Packed with turkey, avocado, and a hint of remorse.
The Convict’s Crunch — A delightful mix of roast beef, Swiss cheese, and a side of self-improvement.
The Felon’s Fiesta — A spicy blend of chipotle chicken, jalapeños, and a dash of notoriety.
The Parolee’s Paradise — A heavenly combination of ham, pineapple, and second chances.
The Inmate’s Indulgence — A guilty pleasure of salami, provolone, and a sprinkle of scandal.
The Prisoner’s Panini — A warm and toasty mix of grilled veggies, mozzarella, and a hint of controversy.
The Cellmate’s Celebration — A festive fusion of Italian B.M.T., pepperoni, and a touch of infamy.
The Warden’s Whimsy — A delightful concoction of tuna, cucumber, and a slice of progress.
The Detainee’s Delight — A mouthwatering medley of steak, pepper jack cheese, and a taste of freedom.
The Captive’s Caprice — A classic blend of fresh mozzarella, tomato, basil, and a drizzle of exoneration.
“I’ve learned a lot during my time in prison,” said Fogel. “And I’ve come to realize that dining at Subway is a lot like being incarcerated — you’re surrounded by cold cuts, and there’s always someone watching you eat.”
When asked about his involvement in the creation of the new menu, Fogel said, “I’m just happy to be back at Subway, doing what I love. These sandwiches are the result of a lot of hard work and creativity, and I think our customers are going to be blown away.”
Subway’s new menu will be available in stores nationwide starting next month. For more information, please contact Subway’s Public Relations Department at pr@subway.com.
Disclaimer: The above press release is entirely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. The contents of this release are not intended to defame, discredit, or harm any individuals or entities mentioned herein.
